best-of-funny:
chafing-nipples:
dangermat:
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide
that’s pretty fucking metal
X
Wait… don’t all fruits do this? Accept apples though. I heard the weakest apples rot first. The are more susceptible to the gasses. They are chosen to die so the other apples live longer.
Okay I’m ready to write my paper.
-stares at blank page-
-gets up-
-goes to kitchen-
-gets waffles and ice cream-
-sits down with waffles and ice cream-
Okay I’m ready to write my paper.
Has anyone ever tried pure cranberry juice? Not the juice blend shit from concentrate. The PURE cranberry juice that’s 10 dollars a jug?
wELL DON’T FUCKING CHOKE ON IT BECAUSE IT’S BURNS LIKE THE FIRES OF HELL FUCK I CAN’T BREATHE WHY GOD
Isn’t it frightening that a human being can get so attached to someone, that if anything were to happen to that treasured someone you wouldn’t be able to function properly.
Don’t you find it terrifying that when you let someone into your life, and they become such a huge part of what you are, that if they disappear you are left feeling as though someone ripped your arm off and for a while you still believe it’s there.
Isn’t it uneasy how one human being has such an influence on another human being without even realizing it and if something goes wrong you end up missing that influence more than anything else in the world.
I find it horrifyingly unhealthy. You shouldn’t allow yourself to get this way. It’s weak.
But, against my better judgement, here I am… scared.
I have found the cure to a bad day ladies and gentlemen.
Hot Bath
Hot Sex
Hot Popcorn
In that order.
So how do you date a musician?
I think I’m doing it wrong at the moment tumblr.
I didn’t get any god damn instructions.
Any tutorials out there?